Fancy yourself a fan of Kim Kardashian’s minimalist mansion? Well, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen is worried about you.
For, according to the interior king and Changing Rooms star, that sort of aesthetic is for people who ‘aren’t happy with themselves.’
We’ve long been quite obsessed with Kim’s Hidden Hills house (which is apparently worth $60million (£52m) after its remodelling), which she designed alongside former husband Kanye West, but perhaps not for the reasons we find fascination with other celebrity homes.
You see, the woman lives in a home devoid of colour (is beige a colour? At a push) and soul. There we said it.
From the sinks that sport no more than small slits in which to drain water, to the neutral basketball court (designed so it ‘matched my whole house’), the curated pantry and weird ol’ lightswitches, everything in Kim’s home is a real *choice*.
And, according to fan of maximalism Laurence, those vast and empty hallways, white couches (with four children, no less, so, we suppose we should applaud this move), simple art, concrete floors and startling lack of any sort of personal element suggests a certain sadness.
He said: ‘This denotes great social insecurity.
‘Minimalism is never synonymous with people who are happy with themselves.’
He added to MailOnline: ‘People who are happy with themselves, well they’ve got their knickers hanging from a chandelier because they know the chandelier needed something and hey those knickers can tell a story or two!’
Laurence went on to describe those with ‘a big slab of something’ as ‘trying to control their life like they’re driving a car’.
While we can’t picture Kim flinging a pair of Skims at her light fightings, the mogul has been open about her often-ridiculed design aesthetic.
Previously speaking with Vogue, Kim said: ‘Everything in my house is really minimal. There’s so much chaos out in the world that when I come home, I want it to be really quiet and I want everything to feel calming.’
It’s clear Kim knows what kind of hazard this home can pose, though, as she told the camera: ‘Shockingly, four kids hasn’t messed up my cream house.’
We can hear Laurence having a conniption over such a bland space, and his comments on Kim’s abode are not the first he’s made about those who choose such interiors.
‘You are never going to be happy in a home that is a nightmarish, high-maintenance cold cube with so much glass and shiny floors that it’s incredibly difficult and expensive to heat. Especially in the midst of an energy crisis,’ he previously told Metro.
‘We are now living in a world that is seriously not nice, but it’s a world that happens outside – so when you close your front door after a day from hell, you have an opportunity to reorder your little corner of the planet to be whatever you want it to be.’
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