When I first read that Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker tied the knot in a lowkey ceremony without most of their family members, I wasn’t surprised.
The Kardashians are nothing if not surprising.
I was happy for them just living their life. After all, our lives are not anybody’s business but ours.
The pair said ‘I do’ on Sunday in Santa Barbara, with just Kourtney’s grandmother and Travis’ dad present.
My own wedding day was lowkey – a flight to New York and just two friends for company.
The wedding is simply the ceremony that you choose to have to mark the start of your marriage. And choose you should. Why should you feel obligated to throw a big affair and invite everyone you know?
In 2006, I met my now husband, Greg. We had a fairly whirlwind romance after meeting at salsa dancing, of all things.
I thought he was a fabulous dancer and he says he knew I was special from the moment he set eyes on me. We very quickly started skipping salsa classes to have date nights instead!
Greg and I went away on holiday to Barcelona shortly after we met and it’s there that we fell in love. It was clear, though unsaid at the time, that we would get married and spend our lives together.
It was early 2007 when we began to talk about a wedding. Both Greg and I felt the same about the kind of ceremony we wanted; we were both certain we wanted it to be something lowkey.
Some people simply couldn’t imagine getting married without parents there to witness their ‘I dos’, but one thing we knew for sure was that we didn’t need witnesses of the love we shared for one another.
All that was important to us both was becoming husband and wife.
As a young girl, I had never dreamt of a big wedding. I didn’t imagine myself in a wedding dress or throwing my bouquet to my girlfriends, so it was an easy decision for us to go abroad and to plan a day solely focussed on us.
I set about researching, thinking our only option would be a Las Vegas wedding but there were so many amazing destinations. One appealed more to us than the rest and stood out as a wonderful place to tell tales to our children about someday – the Big Apple.
Greg and I asked our parents if they wanted to come to New York with us, but they were happy for us to go alone. Instead of feeling that they should be there, they gave us their blessings to go and do it our way.
Does that mean we aren’t close to our parents? Our daily phone calls to both of our mums and the time we spend together prove otherwise.
We spend so much of our lives pleasing others but when it comes to a wedding, you are never going to please everyone. There will always be the complaints – like the catering not being to someone’s liking or God forbid, a fifth cousin removed hasn’t been invited.
So our wedding day consisted of getting married in a penthouse suite (it was supposed to be Central Park but the weather had other ideas) with just two of our friends – who had flown over – as witnesses, cocktails at the Rainbow Rooms, then we finished the day with a meal for two at an underground tapas restaurant. Was it a typical wedding? No. But it was exactly what we wanted.
After our perfect day and once we got back home, we involved those we love in our milestone by planning a reception, which was latin themed, of course, because we met salsa dancing after all.
It meant that others – including our parents – felt included without compromising our actual ‘big day.’
This is something the Kardashian-Barkers are planning to do too, with a big celebration rumoured to be on the cards.
But even if they didn’t, would it matter?
For me, choosing how you want your wedding to look, the day itself, who you invite and whether you choose to have numerous celebrations is down to you.
Does the fact that the pair excluded their immediate families from their celebrations really mean they don’t care about them? No.
The wedding is simply the ceremony that you choose to start your marriage – no one should feel pressured or judged for having a wedding ceremony that feels right to them.
If we had our time over, we would do the same again without a shadow of a doubt! So I say, do what’s in your heart.
If it’s a wedding with all the bells and whistles and your family present, then do it. If it’s a quiet one – just the two of you – then that’s fine too.
There’s no wrong or right and no judgement (or at least there shouldn’t be). You do you.
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